February 7th 2012

This day changed my life.

I had the day off from work. I needed to get my name changed to my married name on my S.S.C. So I decided to do it since I had the day off and my dad was going to help me. I drove to his work and then we went to the Social Security office and when we were done he took me out to lunch. We went back to my dad's work when we were done and I said goodbye to him and got in my car. The next thing I remember was opening my eyes and seeing these unknown faces and my dad's face...I think. I asked what happened and I think my dad is the one who told me I was in a car accident with my mom and my sister, Mary. I do not remember driving home or driving to my parents. I also had my dog with me when I went to see my dad so I must have gone home and dropped him off and then went to my parents. And I don't remember any of the accident. Here is what happened. According to the many people who told me.

Me, my mom and my sister, Mary, were driving on a highway looking at houses that were for sale. We had the address written down and a GPS. Mom was driving. Mary in the passenger seat. And I was in the back. And I had just taken off my seatbelt. (I never do that but Mary said I took it off and leaned forward to look at the map or the GPS or something). We were in a Honda CRV. There was a truck in front of us pulling a flatbed trailer. We were going about 55mph. The truck had stopped and was maybe about to turn but his signals weren't working. When mom noticed it, in that few seconds, she was thinking about what to do. If she turned left she would have hit a oncoming car which was a women and 2 little kids. If she kept going straight she would hit that truck and because of what kind of trailer it was, we would all be dead. So mom quickly turned to the right. We went into a ditch and hit a culvert type thing. We then launched 6 feet into the air and flew 54 feet until we hit a tree and then hit the ground. (My dad measured the distance later. He found the H from the grill of the car stuck 6 feet up in the tree.) Mary was crying and asking mom what we should do and mom was sitting there while I was in her lap and I wasn't moving. Yes, I had flew into the front with Mary and mom. For some reason, mom was holding my hands and pushing my head up against the steering wheel. Later we found out that if she wasn't holding me like that I may have died. The man who was driving the truck with the trailer called 911 and they arrived shortly. As we were waiting on them, mom and Mary were starting to worry about me. Then I opened my eyes. I was in shock and had a concussion. I starting throwing a fit and was jerking around and was hitting mom and yelling at her to not touch me. When 911 got there they sedated me. They got Mary out first then me, then mom. Right away they noticed I was a danger to myself and others so when they sedated me they put me in one ambulance and mom and Mary in another. They took us to the Siloam Springs hospital. They did CT scans on all of us. They found out that mom broke her L2. I broke my C2. And Mary hit her knee pretty bad and fractured her Vertebrae. We all fractured ribs too. Mom and I needed surgery and a Nero surgeon. They flew both of us to the Fayetteville hospital and left Mary in Silaom.

I had surgery done the next day, on the 8th. They went in through my throat. I had a plate put in and screws.They had to put me on a breathing machine after surgery because my breathing was shallow. I was sedated from the 7th when they got to me to the 9th when they took me off. I was waking up from surgery when I opening my eyes and asked what happened. Dad said when he told me what happened I said "But I don't remember driving." He had then told me and he said I started crying. Again, I don't remember talking to my dad. I remember bits and pieces of staying at the hospital. I was on a liquid diet for the whole week I was there. Dad told me I had hit the rear view mirror and had cut my head pretty bad so the doctor had to staples it. Because I hit my head pretty hard, I have a really hard time remembering things. I don't remember everyone who came to see me. Just a few here and there. I had to do some physical therapy before they released me. I was in the hospital for one week and was released on Feb 14th, Valentines Day. The doctor told me the things I can't and shouldn't do. Walk alone. Get out of bed alone. If I went anywhere outside if my home like to the store I had to sit in a wheelchair. The only things I could do by myself or alone was eat, sleep and go to the bathroom. He told me I would have to wear a neck brace for 3-6 months. And then dad and my doctor told me about my break. It's called the hangman's break. There are only 3 results from this break. 1) You can drown in your own blood. 2) You can have paralysis in your chest. And 3) Death. The doctors and nurses were so surprised that I was alive and moving and progressing fast and really well. I am surprised too. I thanked my Heavenly Father at that moment for sparing my life.

Mary got a brace on her knee and stayed in the Siloam Springs hospital for 2 nights. She just limps around and has to be care with what she lifts because of her back and ribs.

Mom and surgery on Feb. 9th. They went through her belly. But during the surgery she started bleeding to much so they had to stop and close her up. At the hospital they helped her learn how to sit up and walk again. She then had a second surgery about a week later. This time they went through her back. They put in a cage type thing, along with screws to hold it in place, around her brake. The surgery was about 7 hours. After they made sure she was good and could move toes, and fingers and could feel then touching her, she was released and got to come home on the 22nd of February. She has to use a walking and a wheelchair. She is on a strict schedule with her meds and naps. She has to wear this brace around her torso. She gets better every day though. She can't actually walk. She more like shuffles. It's been hard for her to get into a new/different life, as for me, but it's going to be ok.

I know that my Heavenly Father was watching over us that day. What if that tree wasn't there? I really think it could have been worse. I know Heavenly Father doesn't make accidents like those happen. They are for learning and growing. This whole this has really torn me. I am hurt not just physically but also emotionally and mentally. I was just in a car accident! How can this happen to me again?! I am having a really hard time with all this. It's hard to see my mom like that. She's my hero. I talk to her about everything. But right now I can't. Some of her meds keep her from focusing and thinking straight. I try every day to think about the positive and to keep my chin up. But it's hard! I pray, as often as I can, that I will receive the strength to be strong and to have faith. My memory frustrates me so much that sometimes I just lay in bed and cry...praying that something will go right. I thank my Heavenly Father all the time for saving all 3 of us. I love my mom and sister so mush. I don't know what I would do without them. I know my Heavenly Father continues to bless and help us every day. I'm trying to see the blessings in all this and learn from them to grow. I don't know why this happened. But I am going to trust in the Lord.